Home is where my heart is..

I'm finally going home.. Finally!!

I can finally eat proper food..

Spend some time with the other people I love...

Say goodbye to one person I'll always love.. It's been eating at me,,

Recharge.. =)

Christmas is coming..

Smile, everyone!!

Goodbye, my friend..

On the 3rd of august, mum told me the bad news.. you were diagnosed with leukemia.. It was critical and you had to undergo heavy treatment almost immediately.. I was scared.. I prayed.. I sat and thought about you everyday.. till now I still am thinking.

I remember the first time I met you. I was 14.. we talked about everything. We weren't very close at first but then we did a presentation on world peace together and we'd been great friends since. I remember thinking how beautiful you were.. You never once looked dull.. always bright, smiling.. cheerful.. there's this glow about you no one could deny. You had THE heart of gold.. you gave awesome hugs and.. you were my bum smacker.. my have-affair-together-cuz-our-boyfriends-and-mums-never-have-to-know partner.. You've never forgotten my birthday.. not once..

I remembered for your birthday.. I borrowed money from the store I was working at to buy you this gigantic bear and made you call it Mr. Fernandez cuz it was the most random name for a teddy bear I could come up with. I saw you on the hospital bed.. you still looked so beautiful.. that glow still bursting out of the smiles you gave despite having tubes put into your wrists.. you were.. are so strong.. I remembered you telling me about all the foods you were craving for.. and one of them was fried chicken but the hospital wouldn't allow you to eat that.. It was always fish and you were getting so sick of it.. I hugged you so many times that night.. I missed you so much and your mum wouldn't allow many visits cuz you needed to rest.. and you couldn't afford to catch anything in your condition..

I remembered visiting you a week before I had to fly off.. Mum and I bought head scarfs for you.. Chemo was a bitch.. your mum didn't let us stay for long.. I promised to come back and see you for Christmas.. take you out for sushi because you loved sushi..

Last week I received news that you were in critical condition.. I stayed up and prayed.. but I felt helpless.. that I couldn't be there with you.. but mostly, that i couldn't do anything..

I dreamt of you last night. You had your curls.. the same ones you had the first time we met. I told you I missed you but you didn't say a word.. you just smiled at me. I woke up at 5am.. couldn't get back to sleep.. sat up on my bed and checked my phone.. Received a message from mum..

"Geraldine passed away a moment ago- Mag" (sent at 4.15am)

I sighed and sat up on my bed and looked around.. just darkness and silence.. I couldn't think straight.. I held myself and then I thought of you.. and thats when the tears started.. and wouldn't stop. Every memory I've had with you kept flooding in mind, gushing out of my eyes.. I was selfish.. I was thinking about how much I wanted you to still be here.. go all out to be better.. live.. so that I could take you out.. and we'd have fun like we used to..

But you're not hurting anymore.. you're probably happy to finally be free of all that suffering.. but yet something tells me you're frustrated.. because you had such big dreams.. and then I cry some more..

I only wish I could've been there for you.. God knows how much I love you... You had such a hard life.. even before this sickness.. Just lay down and rest for now.. I'll see you when I see you..

You're not gone, darling.. you're just not here.. you'll never leave my heart.. our hearts.. Goodbye for now, babes.. *spank* I love ya much!! xoxo

Feck

I'm losing too much weight and I hate it..

How the hell do u put on weight in this stupid country lahhh!!?

I hate being too skinny..

I should eat more...

All u frens back in KL.. when I get back home.. your sole purpose is to stuff me before i have to get back here again..

hahaha.. especially Jun.. Junny feeeeed meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

COUNTING DOWN THE DAYYYSSS.. I'll be home soon.. MUAHMUAHMUAHHH!!

7 deadly sins

Decided to try this out cuz i saw it on Leng's blog.. go try it out, whoever wants toooo.. =)

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	Low
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	High
Pride:	Medium

Discover Your Sins - Click Here

Lotsa mediums.. I'm only human laaa.. High on lust.. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!! I love this test la.. EY LENG, WE'RE MFEO!!! (Meant For Each Other. don't tell me u never heard that song before la!)

OKay back to work... XD

Tagged by Junny

Hello... Been tagged by Jun Koay Takahashi.. yet again.. WOMAN DO MY TAG!!! I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU!! I shall do this now before I have to start on my stupid essays and waste hours of my life reading and typing.. I'm PMStic.. you can tell... XD

1. The phone rings,who do you want it to be?
Anyone back home.. Makes me smile.. =)

2.When shopping at the grocery store,do you return your cart?
Umm.. you mean you don't have to return it if you don't want to?

3.In a social setting,are you more of a talker or listener?
Hahahhaa.. most of the time, I listen more than I talk.. but sometimes I do talk more than I listen..

4.Do you take compliments well?
I don't really like taking compliments cuz I find them embarrassing.. haha.. I secretly like them though.. but I never wanna admit it.. Oh crap. that was supposed to be a secret!!

5.Do you play Sudoku?
Hahaha. Jun's mom made me start.. I do play a bit when I just wanna bum but don't want my brain muscles to bum.. very rare.. =)

6.If abandoned alone in the wilderness,would you survive?
I'm Sabahan okay.. I have ulu blood in me.. I think if I were abandoned.. instincts would kick in and I'd automatically rip my clothes off leaving just enough to cover myself a bit and then become Jane of the Jungle.. AAAAOOOOOOoooooooOOOoOOOAAAAA!!!

7.What song are you listening to?
Listening to Thrice cuz Adrian loves them.. made me listen to them.. so now I love them too.. And Augustana.. =)

8.Did you ever go to a camp as a kid?
Once.. in primary school.. went on a 4 day 3 night camping trip at FRIM.. got sucked on by leeches.. poured salt on them and had fun watching then sizzle to death.. HAHAHA!

9.What was your favourite game as a kid?
Hehehehe.. Leng and Michellee!!! Mulberry bush(dont ask), Hop scotch, Tomato ketchup on trees.. my favourite temporary high.. During CNY, card games when gambling cuz I always win..

10.Are you a single?
Nopess

11.Could you date someone with diff religious beliefs than you?
Yepp.. But I wouldn't if he tries to convert me la.. haha!

12.Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
I need to be pursued.. a very bad thing... But yes.. I do.. for I am a human sloth..

13.Use three words to describe yourself.
Clueless, Fun, Lazy

14.Do any songs make you cry?
Mmmhmmm.. loads.. diff songs for diff moods.. Some with their specific memories behind it..

15.Are you continuing your education?
Yep.. unfortunately.. I hate studying.. hahahahaha... but I have to so that a certain someone can bum... see.. being pursued.. okay in a way it's not that bad la..

16.Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Never tried and I don't think I'd ever wanna cuz I might just kill someone.. lol!

17.If ur house was on fire,what would be the first thing that u'll grab?
My laptop.. all my treasured pictures are in there... I should really develop some when I get home.. >_<

18.How often do you read books?
I'm taking up LAW.. does that answer your question? HAHAHAHA!

19.Do you think more about the past,present or future?
All at the same time.. We can't deny the past cuz it has made us who we are at present.. The present cuz I believe we should treasure every moment we have whilst we're still alive.. and the future cuz I really do want my degree... and continue living.. I WANT KIDS! hahahaha!!

20.What is your favourite children's book?
Enid Blyton's children books... Fairies, goblins, flying gingerbun houses and pixiess.. =D

21.What color are your eyes?
Brown..

22.How tall are you?
Passport says 170cm.. mom says 5"7.. I say tall enough.. no more!.. =)

23.Where is your dream house located?
I don't wanna house.. I want a damn nice apartment or penthouse!! HAHA!

24.Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
Yep.. With the person who tagged me.. haha

25.When was the last time you were at Oliva Garden?
When I knew where Oliva Garden is.. in my past existence maybe?

26.Do you like mustard?
Not really.. I love mayo.. =D

27.Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Sleep.. I actually miss quite a lot of meals cuz I prefer sleeping so much more..

28.Do you look like your mom and dad?
Smile like my mom.. or so everyone says.. Eyes like my moms.. ears.. my dad.. face small like my moms..nmy nose.. neither.. I honestly dunno where my nose came from and everyone makes fun of it.. haha.. well my moms one's sharp and small and my dads one's big and pretty flat so I'm in between la.. freckles.. I BLAME MY MOTHER!

29.How long does it take you in the shower?
15-20 minutes.. I have body washes for every single part of my body.. lol!!

30.Can you do the splits?
NOOOO!! ouchh!! I wish..

31.What movie do you want to see right now?
Phonebooth.. I'm waiting patiently.. *winks* ..NO ONE TELL ME ANYTHING!!

32.What did you do for New Year?
Nothing.. drink with the family and got tipsy.. Didn't get to burn my diary this year..

33.Do you own a camera phone?
A very sad one.. but yes.. it is a camera phone nontheless.. lol!!

34.Was your mom a cheerleader?
Nope but she was a runner with damn nice butt.. HAHAHAHAHAH!!!

35.How many hours of sleep do you get at night?
5/6.. I sleep late and am forced to wake up early for breakfast..

36.Do you like care bears?
No.. not really.. I loved the powerpuff girls!

37.What do you buy at the movies?
Coke and CARAMEL popcorn.. =)

38.Do you know how to play poker?
Only if it's strip poker..

39.Do you wear your seatbelt?
Yess.. cuz I drive most of the time back home.. haha

40.What do you wear to sleep?
Oversized tees and underwear.. perfect..

41.Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
Sabah.. nothing ever happens there la but thats the beauty of it.. I miss Sabah.. KL.. nothing much as well but I still love it..

42.How many meals do you eat a day?
2.. max.. if I have breakfast.. I wont be able to eat lunch and if I eat lunch .. I wont be able to eat dinner.. unless dinner's real late then thats okay.. I can have 3.. but most of the time, 2's more than enough.. I'm hungry now..

43.Do you always read frienster bulettins?
Never...

44.Do you like funny or serious people better?
Both... I need them for different occassions.. Can't have someone funny when I need to have work done.. Can't have someone serious when I wanna have fun laaa..

45.Ever been to L.A.?
Nope.. no money.. heheehe!

46.Did you eat a cookie today?
Tempted to.. but no.. in the end.. cuz I realised I was gonna be late for tutorials.

47.Tag 3 people.
-JenJen
-Jojoe
-Sukiee.. darling please lemme in your bloggg.. =( haha!! KISSES!

BYEEE... mwahxx!

Happy Birthday, Jun Yong!

Today.. is a very unfortunate day for it marks the birth of... a guy?... A guy, yes. But he is no ordinary guy.. for you see when she was still in her poor mother's womb doing headbangs and such (for she wants to be some rockstar.. and she is gonna kill me for saying this).. You must be wondering.. "Why is this stupid girl using "she" instead of "he"?" Well you see, my clueless readers, during the 8th month that she was inside her mother's womb.. there was a change of plans! YES THERE WAS!!.. She grew a penis.. very doubtful this part.. but yeah apparently she did and poof!! She instantly became a he and then a month later he came out and all hell broke loose.. So he has the features of a girl but is... surprisingly.. A GUY!.. or at least I think he is a guy.. like I said.. very doubtful.. XD

Okay la I shall stop being so mean but you cant blame me okay!! He does look like a girl.. Pictures soon..

So anyway.. on a nicer note.. Jun Yong is one of my very very close friends and I love em to bits. He wrote me a song.. treated me at Tony Roma's and Sushi King (which now sucks cuz it's now highly over commercialised), bought stuff from Timberland to help me achieve my target.. but those pair of jeans were really nice on you so don't complain.. He's caring cuz he's always there when I'm PMStic and annoyed or sad... he wakes me up in the wee hours of the morning by calling me.. just to bitch bout things.. he's funny cuz he makes me laugh.. at him not with him.. *smiles* OH SHIT!! no.. Audrey.. be nice.. He plays the guitar very well.. he plays the piano really well though he just started onnit.. He does the "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" with me.. He lets me paint his nails.. and I purposely paint it all colourful.. like one nail 4-5 streaks in diferent colour just to embarrass the hell outta him until some random bitchy shop lady comes and tells us to get the fuck out.. I shall quote her.. "Excuse me.. are you here to buy something or are you just here to fool around?" hahaha!! Everyone.. If you shop at Skin Food in Pyramid 1, stop doing so from today, okay!

He's such a girl cuz he has all the body products every normal girl in the world can only dream of having.. Estee Lauder make up.. yes.. he has make up.. I show you later!! He won't settle for nail polishes that cost less that RM70.. I shit you not.. HE HAS ESTEE LAUDER EYELINER!!! But nevermind I got Georgio Armani.. nyahahaa! He tells people.. or me anyway.. that he lives in a "pondok" but then goes around driving a jet black Honda City.. owns millions of guitars and well.. HE BUYS ESTEE LAUDER EVERYTHING.. NEED I SAY MORE??!! So.. HE LIEEEE!! He lives in a damn luxurious house with a FAT FAT dog named Baby! Very cute!! The dog.. not him...

Things I call/ say to Jun Yong just to annoy the Eff outta him:

1. You face problem!! (cuz he's a vain pot and will not stand for people dissing his "beautiful" face) *cough*

2. KAWAIIKUNEE.. which, in direct translation, means.. uncute.. or FACE PROBLEM!

3. You is a bitch, I hate you..

4. YOU LIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

5. OKay I'm gonna sleep now.. GOODNIGHT!!!!! usually said less than 5 minutes after receiving a call from em..

6. eeeeeeeeeeeeee.. YOU'RE SO GAYYYYY!!!

7. Ey.. your face damn funny lor.. *followed by evil laughter*

8. Your hair damn uglyyyy (yeah don't diss his hair too but I don't caaaare!! XD)

He supports Arsenal.. which is damn sad cuz it's such a loser team.. I shall not say more cuz it's his birthday and I'm trying so hard to be nice right now.. XD.. He loves X Japan.. and is the rightful heir to Yoshiki's throne.. which I wholeheartedly believe to be a fact as well.. see I'm so nice.. His singing can make your ears bleed but you wanna see it anyway cuz of the action that goes with the singing he does is hilarious! He emos by holding a bunch of fake roses which too, is damn hilarious.. *view uploaded picture* I quote Jun Yong..

"You know how retarded you look in that picture?" BLUUEEEEKKK!!!!

"Eh...enough with the emo pics la. If you wanna do emo pic also do properly la at least. Must hold roses all." *COUGH* bitch*COUGH*

" Ey my hair damn kawaii okay!!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!

" I am beautiful.. you can't deny it! I make one damn chun chick okay. correct anot??!" Sure, Jun Yong..

"Hey Audrey.. Do I really have a face problem?" AWWWWWWWWWW!!

"dulan.. cibai.. lan jiao.. fuck.. *and all the cina and england swear words you can think of*

He also happens to be quite random which to me.. is a pretty good thing:

~Ren'ai~- Trapped in this cell of loneliness, waiting for the night to end... says:
meowwwwwww

Audrey- DWEEAN! says:
WTF!!!

~Ren'ai~- Trapped in this cell of loneliness, waiting for the night to end... says:
HAHAHAHAHA

As you can tell from his personal message he is also one emoness fella.. but it gives him inspiration.. lets him write good music.. and they're real good.. I kid you not.. and it's good when it comes to serious discussions about life and shit like that.. the ones that we have occasionally..

So yeah.. we've had our share of arguments and stuff but damn boring lor if it's always happy, kan? Allows us to know each other a bit better also la.. And he's definately one of my besties and yes, Jun Yong, I love you to bits and no.. you don't really have a face problem.. I just like annoying the shit outta you. Don't like isit.. THEN SUE ME LA U CIBAI FACE PROBLEM" No don't la.. just in case I lose.. I broke adi.. lol!!

OKay la.. damn long lor this post!! I'm so nice sometimes.. XD

It's the emoing with rose picture!!

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY, DARLIN!!!

Have a great one! xoxo!!!

Pictures of the girl/guy:

Estee Lauder make up, okay!! What he did for Halloween.. I really don't wanna comment on this.. ahahhahaa!!

A pretty much decent picture of her..

Armpit!!

Football.. game.. thing.. In case you're wondering.. yes.. he is holding pompoms.. I refuse to comment yet again for it is his birthday and I will be nice..

Jun Yong drunkkk!!! HAHAHAHAHA!! *runs off before he kills me*

7 Things

Yet another lazy pre-winter day.. I'm drowsy all the time!!! This is NOT good.. Got so irritated yesterday cuz I was supposed to do a presentation on Duty of care.. Tort law.. and I studied all night and woke up extra early to prepare summore.. then I had to take a 45 minute walk down to the Wills Memorial Building.. Stepped into L102, my tutorial room, to find out that class was cancelled.. ROAAAARR!! But nvm.. I'M FECKING BUMMING TODAY! Made me study also la so that's good too.. =) Halloween party comin up.. theme's the 7 deadly sins.. but I still wanna go as a television with a ring on the screen and go.. "I'M THE RING" as I walk into the party!!! But I really don't wanna be a social outcast so maybe I'll go with envy.. i'd choose envy.. and be all green and sexy.. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! If that's even possible..

Anywho.. tagged by sexy angel Jen Jen.. MUAHHX!! You're gonna be the bomb at your party la.. =D *kisses*

Seven things to be done before my death:

1. Get married
2. Have kids
3. Have a job
4. Damn good sex life.. IMPORTANT OKAY!!!
5. Decent place to live in.. I wanna die with style!
6. Make a difference.. somehow..
7. Hug a koala.. I've always wanted to..

Seven things I will not do even if it kills me:

1. Abortion
2. Stop loving.. in general
3. Betray my friends.. and loved ones
4. Give up my pets! NO FUCKIN WAY!
5. Wear g strings everyday.. OUUUCH!!
6. Give up eating nasi lemak!!! Because doing that WILL kill me..
7. Eat worms... uugh! Can't stand the mere sight of them even!!

Seven things I do when I'm away from public:

1. I don't wear pants in my room.. shirt and underwear's the way to go!
2. Go on youtube and look up for movies and then find the make out scenes.. haha!
3. Sing.. real loud!
4. Cry.. I like my privacy
5. Get lost in thoughts.. YES, I DO THINK OKAY!! not necessarily relevant thoughts la tho.. haha
6. Talk to my stuffed pig.. SHUTUP!
7. Become quite a girly girl with the amount of body care products I have.. *ashamed*

Seven fav sentences/quotes/expressions:

1. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
2. Really ah??!! And theen, and thennn??
3. GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
4. Shaddap la you!
5. I'm only friends with you cuz your parents paid me to do so.. (usually to Clinton)
6. Mmmmmmmm!!!! Don't wannaaa!! I'm lazyyyyy!!!! (when people ask me to go out and I just get too lazy. and I'm always too lazy..)
7. YOU LIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!! (I love this one.. haha)

Seven songs:

1. Heal over- KT Tunstall
2. The Hardest Part- Coldplay
3. I miss you- Incubus
4. This Boy- James Morrison
5. Sing- Travis
6. I'm Yours- Jason Mraz
7. With you, tonight- Matt Wertz.. 7 ALREADY??!!!! =(


Seven things I'll make you wish you didn't do if you did:

1. If you diss my family
2. If you diss my friends and the people I love
3. If you touch my expensive underwear
4. If you touch my condom collection.. property of Audrey Lim!!
5. If you ever ever ever read my journal!
6. If you hit my pets.. especially my dog.. I'll scream at you..
7. If you touch my stuff without asking in general! Esp my body products.. haha!

Seven people to tag:

1. Michelle
2. Leng.. cuz she needs to update her blog!
3. Jun.. same reasons as leng.. haha
4. Priya
5. Felix!!!!
6. KOBEE!! XD
7. Sukie =)

Okay.. I shall go attempt to study now.. LOTSA LOVE! *kisses*